I also write for a teen magazine and their website. You can follow me on Twitter @elisha_aylmore
A Harry Potter AU where everything’s exactly the same, except the house elves look like Lord of the Rings elves and Dobby’s, like, played by Orlando Bloom. But they’re still not allowed to have clothes
orlando bloom hitting himself in the face with a lamp
twelve year old Daniel Radcliff shoving a nearly-naked Orlando Bloom into his closet
Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (via blaise-db)
#when people write Aziraphale as all proper and soothing #no dude#his store is never open when the sign says it’s gonna be and he’s gonna follow you around the store like you’re a registered shoplifter #he’s gonna look at you judgmentally no matter which section you’re browsing and make you feel all self-conscious about your taste in books #the front entrance has an unmarked step and after you trip he’ll say ‘mind the step’ #and then again when you fall going out #probably empty-handed because none of the prices are marked and you don’t really want to ask him how much anything costs #he probably short-changes you if you do try to buy something #and accuses you of trying to short-change him when you question it #Aziraphale is literally everything you hate in a shopkeeper
You have the best tags.
Weird, sulky Aziraphale is the best Aziraphale.
There’s a possibility that Albion Beatnik actually is Aziraphale’s bookshop, in Oxford…
Aziraphale is a more harmless looking and thus far deadlier version of Bernard Black and I cannot understand how anyone can see him differently
Aziraphale is Rupert Giles crossed with Bernard Black.
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)
kinda really want to see a bitter, angry version of empty chairs at empty tables, give me closed eyed tears at oh my friends and clenched fists at meet no more, kick a chair at what your sacrifice was for, give me a bitter, falling apart marius seeing the ghosts of his friends and hating the system that put them in their shallow graves